amputee

Have I been amputated if I have one less leg of my trip? I pulled into the ferry terminal today having gone 5001 miles since leaving Bountiful. UT 2 weeks ago today. Well according to my odometer, it’s been 5001 miles. In actuality it’s about 11.7 percent less than that according to my GPS reading. The 285 tires and 4:88s tend to mess up the factory calibration. Regardless I was still pretty damn surprised to be that close. I like to refer to the completed leg as ‘familiar.’ There was quite a bit of learning but it was in an environment I know. Whether it be learning to live out of a tent, the psychological realization that I am not going home anytime soon, or the communication in Spanish I experienced it in a world I know. Camping in the desert is second nature to me so Baja was a treat. No worries or fears about crime or harassment. Only snakes and cacti. I’m still getting used to the tent. In the last 2 weeks I’ve spent more nights in a tent than I have my entire life combined. I miss seeing the stars, I miss getting rained on in the middle of the night. I miss the fear of having some strange creature join me in my sleeping back in the middle of the night for some warmth. Scratch that last part. Trickier than the language and adjusting to the solitude has been the humidty. Yep the humidity. Not that it’s humid yet but little things like a bottle of coke compensating onto my laptop. Tossing your almost dry clothes in a bag expecting them to be fine, only to realize that stench of dampness the next morning. Sleeping in clammy sheets. Just subconscious habits that need to be changed but harder than the conscious thoughts like speaking coherent castellano or occupying my mind. I’m sure it will only get worse (I am headed to the jungle) before it gets better. So without much further ado I’m going to post up what I hope will be many ‘random thoughts’ posts. Inspired by Bill Simmons (www.sportsguy.com) on Page2 and a test of my note taking ability along the way. I’m pretty sure it won’t be as witty as his but as Ben Stein used to say, I shall try my best.

Things I’ve seen written in English that make me feel far better about my inability to speak the local language…

I like Nuts

I will race until die

(those two on beat up ford ‘race’ trucks)

Ice Cleaning

Iced Coldy Coffee

Rug Factory Made in Hand

A conversation I had in San Ignacio at the Pemex

A wiry, grey haired Mexican man rolls up on his 175 Yamaha Enduro Bike with a foam cooler strapped to the back.

“excuse me, you have one piece American gum?”

Very odd that I do since I’m not much of a gum chewer.

“you can have as many as you want I never eat it.”

“I only need one piece to fix my bum.”

Suppressing the urge to laugh too hard “to fix your bum?”

Then he proceeds to laugh and blush after realizing how it sounded. He was using a hemorrhoid doughnut to soften the ride. He was riding Tijuana to Cabo in two days. The valve on his doughnut began to leak and he was hoping a piece of chewed gum would help. I’m sure he wanted bubble gum but he got Orbitz. It makes your mouth clean. Or whatever their slogan is.

Mexican Coke is awesome.

Mexican Pepsi is crap.

I would KILL for a fountain drink with ice in it. Well I wouldn’t go that far but at this point it’s worth risking a little Montezuma’s revenge for a coke with ice in it.

I sat in line behind two kids in their early 20’s while checking out of my hotel. It was a 20min wait or so and they spent the entire time talking about the coolest new wallet. Now I realize I am getting to be an old man, but early 20s is not that large of a delta for me to not understand their psyche. These kids are the same age as the kids I used to coach. I thought I got it. That guys are guys regardless of age and wallets are not purses. Maybe it was a cultural thing. One was a local (Cabo) the other a transplant I’m assuming, both working at the resort. Regardless 20mins about wallets! I chuckled out loud, and they heard me, when the local told the other kid ‘yeah your wallet is shit, no one buys that anymore, you can get it for like two dollars ninety at the store.’ The transplant had his ego destroyed. They soon changed their conversation to lunch.

If you type enough Spanish words on your phone it will change the predictive text to Catalan instead of English. Only after 3 or 4 emails of cursing at the stupid thing do you figure out how to fix it.

Just had a white dude on this here ferry ask me a question in English. Took me a second to realize what he was asking. Now I can't communicate in dos languages.

LaPaz, Baja California Sur, grey haired gringo on vacation, in his newly acquired overpriced ‘authentic huaraches’ trying to show a local kid how to ride roller blades. I sat an watch in awe as he tried to imitate speed skating positions, silding from foot to foot not on skates. The kid in the meantime just sat and stared at the guy with that look of ‘what in the hell are you talking about old man, didn’t you just see me grind that wall over there?’

Speaking of kids. Same plaza, same dinnertime observation deck, 3 white American kids (probably 14yrs old)on skateboards, all stopped to watch the sun set into the ocean. I’m sure they were just taking a break from their families for the night but they managed to sit and watch the sunset before they went back to attempting kick flips.

Yet the same plaza. What a great night for watching it was. Too bad I was forcing down fish tacos, trying to get used to the taste. Ozone, Turbo and Special K are now living in LaPaz. If you don’t know who they are then shame on you. Oh and the sequel, Electric Boogaloo never happened.

Last year I spent thanksgiving on a ferry in Southeast Alaska. This year seems like it will be about the same. Maybe I need to find new ways to celebrate the holiday.

Adios,

Dave Connors

Lead - Expedition Americas

www.expeditionamericas.com